A few nice facts about animals images I found:
ONE OF THE WHALE'S MANY USES. Liquid spermaceti being drained from the head of a sperm-whale.
Image by Thoth, God of Knowledge
ONE OF THE WHALE'S MANY USES. Liquid spermaceti being drained from the head of a sperm-whale.
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article:
THE EDIBLE FLESH OF ONE WHALE EQUALS IN BULK STEERS OR 500 SHEEP, AND IT "TASTES REMARKABLY LIKE BEEF"
WHALE-STEAKS
AMERICANS ARE LEARNING to like whale meat. Other nations have always liked it, but we are slow to adopt what we consider foreign foods, altho there is nothing particularly foreign about the whale. The Food Administration is responsible for our early attempts at eating whale, but, according to a writer in The Scientific American (Now York, November 16), our liking bids fair to grow and spread after the emergency that gave rise to it has passed. During the war the production of whale meat has enabled us to keep the usual supply of domestic animals nearly normal and has released ample meats of other types for the maintenance of our military and naval forces. Plants for preparing whale meat, storage-houses for keeping it, and vessels for its distribution, are now scattered along the North Pacific coast. Seven stations have thus disposed of about one thousand whales this season —all of which we have eaten. Readers who have never knowingly consumed whale are invited to reflect on the fact that it tastes remarkably like beef. The original owner of that luscious steak you ate last night may possibly have swum the North Pacific instead of galloping about on the grassy plains of Texas. We read:
"The meat of the whale extends in great masses from the base of the skull to the tail fin and downward to the middle line, or completely over the rib section. This meat, all of it of the same quality, amounts to ten tons for each fifty feet of length and each fifty tons gross weight of the whale. Above these dimensions there may be fifteen tons of solid whale flesh of best eating quality. In other words, one-fifth of a whale is meat, without computing the other parts, such as the heart, etc., that are edible. The steer, being also a mammal, with nearly identical skeletonic structure, represents almost precisely the same proportions. That is to say, a steer weighing 1,000 pounds has 200 pounds of beef, but only a proportion of its meat of the first class such as characterizes nearly the whole whale flesh. A 50-foot, 50-ton whale, then, represents in bulk a herd of 100 steers of one-half ton weight each. He represents as much meat also as the herd. He is also equal to 500 sheep of 200 pounds each or to 300 hogs of 350 pounds each.
"Of course, steers range up to a ton of weight, with a corresponding increase of weight of flesh. But a whale also weighs up to 75 tons, representing a herd of 150 steers of a half-ton weight each. Any way you look at it, the whale has advantages over beef cattle. He requires no herdsmen or cowboys to care for him. He and his wife rear, feed, and guard their own young without any assistance from laborers. There is no cost to any one to feed him or his family; no food, clothes, or fuel to buy, with corresponding labor to produce them. When wanted, the whale is in his given haunts, ready to be taken. No butchering is required for him, the harpoon gun lands the fatal stroke. All you have to do is to haul him out and cut him up. The cost of whatever processes are required to put a whale on the market is so small in comparison with that of breeding and rearing a stow that Americans, like the Japanese, will soon have meat as good as the best parts of beef at probably not over fifteen cents per pound and in as large quantities as any family needs.......
"A whale is a mammal, not a fish. It produces its young alive and suckles them the same as a cow. Its flesh looks like that of beef, altho admittedly a little coarser in texture, and it has a slight flavor of venison. Whale steaks and roast whale have been served in several of the leading New York restaurants for some time past, having had a preliminary test at Delmonico's restaurant. New York chefs have developed the best methods of cooking and serving, and have found that it yields to as many forms of preparation as beef. There is little to distinguish it from beef, when served on the table, either in appearance, aroma, or taste. Many would be deceived into thinking it beef if not told what had been served. It is only in America that whale meat is a novelty. In Asia and elsewhere whale meat is the staple food.
"Whale meat has every advantage over beef—mutton— pork. In the first place, the whale is a diseaseless mammal, and its salt-water habitats contribute to its freshness, cleanness, digestibility, and healthfulness as food. On the contrary, cattle are subject to tuberculosis and foot-and-mouth and other diseases more or less communicable to humans. As an example, according to the statistics issued by the University of California, a billion pounds of pork are annually lost to America from hog-cholera. Sheep are subject to foot-and-mouth and other diseases. Disease also is destructive to immense numbers of the poultry and domestic food-bird families. In brief, we have diseased meats of all descriptions, if bred on land, and no diseases to worry about if bred in salt water. The meat of the back of the whale further differs from that of all other edible mammals, in that it is uniform, that is, all roasts and steaks, and also boneless. Its sirloin section, of some ten tons, is entirely kicking in those tough, cheap, and nearly inedible parts characteristic of beef, which some of us have to consume or go without meat because of the cost."
In conclusion, the writer quotes Dr. Roy C. Andrew's book on "Whale Hunting with the Camera" to the effect that few people realize the great part whale meat plays in the life of the poorer Japanese, who cannot afford to buy beef. For shipping purposes, it is cooked in great kettles, canned, and sent to all parts of the Empire.
A Man's Guide to Feelings
Image by Viewminder
Are you a man?
Does the Pope wear a funny hat?
Do you like beer?
If you answered 'yes' to any of these questions you might need to read the following excerpt from our other excerpt that grew too large to be considered an excerpt... 'Everything I Know About Women I Learned the Hard Way' it's called 'A MAN'S GUIDE TO 'FEELINGS.'
A MAN'S GUIDE TO FEELINGS
Webster's Dictionary defines 'feelings' this way:
'1a (1) : the one of the basic physical senses of which the skin contains the chief end organs and of which the sensations of touch and temperature are characteristic : touch (2) : a sensation experienced through this sense b : generalized bodily consciousness or sensation c : appreciative or responsive awareness or recognition
2a : an emotional state or reaction b plural : susceptibility to impression : sensitivity
3a : the undifferentiated background of one's awareness considered apart from any identifiable sensation, perception, or thought b : the overall quality of one's awareness c : conscious recognition : sense
4a : often unreasoned opinion or belief : sentiment b : presentiment
5: capacity to respond emotionally especially with the higher emotions
6: the character ascribed to something : atmosphere
7a : the quality of a work of art that conveys the emotion of the artist b : sympathetic aesthetic response
Examples of FEELING:
I noticed tingling feelings in my fingers.
She had a queasy feeling in her stomach.
I had the feeling of something crawling across my foot.
We enjoyed the feeling of walking barefoot in the sand.
He had no feeling in his right leg.
He's been troubled by feelings of guilt.
There's no point in trying to hide your feelings.
He spoke with feeling about the injustice he had seen.
Have you no feeling for the plight of the homeless?
I can see that you have strong feelings about this subject.
First Known Use of FEELING:
12th century.'
You'll never get the twenty six minutes of your life back that it took you to read that definition that was cut and pasted directly from Webster's Online Dictionary.
If there was a 'Viewminder's Online Dictionary' the definition of 'feelings' would go kind of like this...
'Feelings:
'A weapon used against men by women whenever women seek the 'upper hand' in any situation.
A magical glittery 'trump card' from the land of puffy clouds, unicorns, rainbows and sparkles that takes whatever a woman says and makes it not only 'right' but absolutely unassailable, impervious to the application of all reason, logic, contrary factual evidence and deduction.'
First Use: The Garden of Friggin' Eden.'
Example:
Eve: 'Hey Adam... I feel that you should eat this apple.'
Adam: 'But Eve... God said NEVER to eat the fruit of that tree!'
Eve: 'Did you not hear what I said before I said 'that you should eat this apple'... I said that 'I FEEL that you should eat this apple?'
Adam: 'OMG this is delicious! If God was all loving and caring why would he create such a delicious fruit and then waive it in front of us with all his prohibitions like it was some kind of test of our loyalty and... yo Eve... you know what I 'feel' like? I feel like some hot freaky tonight baby.'
Eve: 'Shut up Adam... everyone knows men don't have 'feelings.' Feelings only work for women. You're such a moron and you never take me or anything else seriously. It's like God made you as some kind of a joke or something... along with that thing he called a 'platypus.'
Adam: So does this mean you 'feel' like rockin' The Garden widda little hot freaky tonight or what?'
Eve: Gives Adam history's first 'PLOD'... Putrid Look of Disgust.
Snake: (Played by the Legendary Leon Haywood) crawls by humming 'I wanna do someting freaky to you baby.'
Guys... you will never understand 'feelings.'
The best you can do is identify them... try to cope with them... and flee from them at the first sign of their very existence.
Which is usually when your girl is telling you that she has one (or more if you're particularly unlucky.)
Feelings are absolutely absurd.
I should say 'I feel that feelings are absolutely absurd.'
Saying it that way protects me from being judged, criticized or challenged in any way and it keeps me from ever having my position held up to the critical light of reality where flaws in my thinking could be exposed and possibly even ridiculed.
Let's look at it from the male perspective.
Which is the only perspective you will ever understand.
I know it's the wrong way to look at it but it's more entertaining so just go with me.
I am so used to being wrong it isn't even funny.
Here's an example of a conversation between you and your buddy.
Of course it takes place at a bar and of course alcohol is involved.
I said it was from the 'male perspective' right?
That means its some dive ass bar that smells like... some dive ass bar on a Tuesday night.
Because most of the time alcohol is the only way to get you to open up and even think about 'feelings.'
The conversation goes something like this:
Guy: 'The President Sucks.'
Other Guy: 'Why does the President suck?'
Guy: 'Because he did this, this, this and that.'
Other Guy: 'That is a very well thought out argument, highly persuesive, filled with reason and applied deduction and empirical evidence even.'
Third Guy: 'Check her out.'
Other Guy: 'I accept your position and I accept that indeed the President sucks.'
That's cut and dry, black and white, a tenable position made rock solid by the application of reason and evidence to come to a logical understanding with your buddy.
You done good.
Now if the bartender would only see you dying of thirst and get you another beer.
How hard can it be for her to look at your wide eyes, your forward leaning posture, the money you are waving at her and the crusty white shit on your cracked parched lips that indicates you want another beer?
Now let's try that at home.
Not that... only men who have mastered the 'Real Secret' get to do that... I'm talking about the example of the discussion you and your buddy just had.
First off... your girl ain't your buddy.
Because she has feelings.
By now we've come to the understanding that 'women aren't the enemy.'
Feelings are.
And the 'Lifetime Network.'
And anything Oprah says.
Don't ever forget that.
You'll never understand them.
And if your woman ever says anything about how she 'feels about Oprah on the Lifestyle Network' say that stupind thing you gotta say and then just duck...
because the lobe's gonna blow!
But don't ever forget what makes men 'different' from women... besides that five percent of the body and their love of paint color sample chips... and the fact that they used to brush the hair and actually talk to little plastic ponies in freakishly human tones... it's 'feelings' that make women different nimrod.
In their minds they feel that's what makes them superior.
Let's try that conversation on your woman now.
Guy: 'The President Sucks.'
Girl: 'Well I feel like he's a good President.'
Guy: 'Baby I'm Sorry You Were Right.'
Of course instead of the 'BISYWaR' response that should become reflexive every time your woman says the word 'feel' or 'feelings' you'll say something stupid.
That's what you do.
Maybe that's why God made man.
To amuse himself watching the stupid shit that you do.
Just think of Charlton Heston having the biggest laugh right now with the reverb turned all the way up while he's floating on a cloud in a comfortable looking white robe and pointing at you.
And hope he doesn't accidentally turn the lightning on when he's havin' a laugh attack after watching you screw everything up.
How does that 'feel' braniac?
Gentlemen you must accept that all of the logic, deductive skills in the world, reason, evidence, and expert opinion are NOTHING and in fact ENTIRELY WORTHLESS when it comes to dealing with 'feelings.'
If you wanna get some hot freaky... and you know you do... you're gonna hafta learn to understand, cope and deal with feelings.
It's inevitable without the skillful application of Oscar caliber acting skills and adding alcohol to the pursuit.
Which we've also come to identify as an inappropriate long term relationship strategy.
Remember when you were a kid and your parents got sick of your shit and the conversation ended with 'because I said so.'
That's what feelings are.
They're like the 'be all end all'
The female equivelent of 'shut the fuck up.'
'Feelings' are something a woman pulls out of her delightfully embroidered 'tool bag' when she wants to take whatever it is that she just said... or is about to say and make it, in her mind... and yours... what would in reality be a 'universal truth' in your shared 'reality' together.
Of course if there's one thing you know, it's that there's 'reality' and then there's 'her reality' and then there's your shared reality which consists of you pretending to accept and support her psychotic and twisted vision of 'reality' in order to bring happiness and sunshine to the woman that you love and cherish and that is your beloved partner on the quest for the ultimate hot freaky experience.
Just keep that to yourself dumbshit.
That little factoid will never bring you closer to your ultimate goal.
Here's an example... we've all heard it said that 'that which goes up must come down.'
You probably haven't really put much thought into that statement and there's really no way to debate its beautiful simplicity.
It's a fundamental truth.
Let's just say your woman thinks otherwise.
And she wants you to think that way too.
Because if there's one thing she wants as much as you want hot freaky it's to get you to think like her.
And she wants to do it without having to go through the effort prove her point, support her position with evidence of any kind of merit whatsoever or take any shit from you.
You see how chicks can be as lazy as guys?
She's going to say 'I FEEL that what goes up doesn't have to come down.'
Her application of the word 'feel' to the statement above means ultimately, in at least all of your relationship to her and your quest for some hot freaky therein, that what she just said must now be respected and accepted as what would be in reality one of those 'universal truths.'
Of course your dumb guy brain, even on its best day will try to say something like 'baby... according to the laws of physics you are clearly mistaken.'
She's your girl... you love her... you want to show her that she's mistaken because you care.
In your stupid guy way you relish the opportunity to impress her with your intellect and look smart.
You might not remember too much from college but you're absolutely certain that 'that which goes up must come down.'
You've gotta lotta life experience to prove it dontcha?
You're willing to talk about this in a non threatening, non judgemental, loving and supportive way aren't you big guy?
She will then clarify the audacity of your 'fucking unbelievable' response in the following way:
'are you saying that I am wrong?'
I swear only you could go from teachin' Honey Baby Poopie Pie a lesson on physics to 'personally attacking her' in one sixtieth of a billisecond.
Your relationship is more volatile than pennystocks on a Friday right before a three day weekend after everyone's had a three martini lunch.
She has been the judge, the jury and the executioner every time you mess up... she's seen you screw up so many ways... so many times... in so many circumstances...
yet you still genuinely shock her with your idiocy.
By this time she forgot what she'd even said after the two words she first uttered 'I feel.'
Because of your utter and contemptuous insolence for her.
You know how it goes.
Right now you realize that you've done it again.
You ask yourself 'will I ever fucking learn?'
Probably not.
You're doomed.
You're never gonna make it.
But I'm not gonna give up on you brother.
Although I'm starting to doubt you could ever get to the land called 'Shangri-freaky-la' even If I could carry your fatass there on my back.
In addition to being a fool and always falling into the oldest woman trap in the world... asking a chick 'baby what's wrong' you're pretty adept at falling into the second oldest woman trap in the world too.
Feelings.
It's taken women eons to work out and finess these traps to insure that they always work.
They're handed down from generation to generation of women and improved upon as more effectively vicious and cruel methods are discovered.
They've been honed to 'razor sharpness' on all those trips to bathroom that they've taken together.
And you think you're gonna be the first guy to 'beat them?'
You can't 'beat them.'
They are unbeatable.
The best you can do is to avoid them.
She probably wanted to blow her stack any way.
Maybe the pressure was building up in that extra lobe of hers and causing her a discomfort like a bloating of the brain.
And she's come to you for relief.
Because she knew she could count on you... without fail... to fall into the trap that would allow her animal woman to release the contents of the lobe and become comfortable again... maybe go hang out at the Sherwyn Williams store or something and think about paint.
You dumbfuck.
Here's a 'universal truth' for you...
if a woman 'feels' something it cannot be wrong.
Women's feelings are never wrong.
How dare you even think for a second that she was wrong.
This isn't about the laws of physics.
She doesn't even remember what it's about besides you telling her that there was a possibility that her feelings could be wrong in a loving an supportive non judgemental way of course.
Do you not remember what happened after you bitched about her buying the deluxe urn for Punkin?
Do you just like that shit going down?
You like that more than hot freaky?
It seems like it.
You didn't sell your soul, give up your free will, all of your computer passwords, burn all of your shit in a giant pile and throw away all of your male friendships to teach your girl about the laws of physics did you?
A woman's feelings can NEVER be wrong.
No man in history has ever succeeded in getting a woman to admit that what she 'felt' was wrong.
You are not going to be the first.
Go back to Webster's definition and look at the time 'feelings'was first used as a word.
The twelfth century.
Medieval times.
When not so coincidentally the first evidence of the Christian concept of 'purgatory' was found.
A lot of things and concepts were invented in the twelfth century.
You know... torture... the plague... big titties in tight velvet bodices... dungeons... gunpowder, canons, bombs, the Iron Maiden, black death... cholera... feelings...
Medieval times.
You don't want to be dealing with anything from the twelfth century.
Shit was all bad and evil and wicked back then.
Except the tight velvet bodices.
That's the only thing that got mankind through the twelfth century.
That's where 'feelings' come from.
A freakin' twelfth century idea come to torture your ass in modern times buddy.
And you're about to get some medeival shit for even thinkin' that you might have had what it takes to become the first guy in all history to prove to a woman that her 'feelings' are wrong.
Welcome to the twelfth century brother.
While men had just invented the magnetic compass in the twelfth century... a device with a floating needle that always pointed to north... a tool that they thought would make 'asking for directions' a thing of the past...
women were in the beginning stages of designing another sort of compass.
A compass called 'feelings.'
And that compass always points to 'right' Asshole.
And you and me both know that that 'compass' will certainly never point to you.
LEVEL Magazine, Issue 44: Pages 34-35
Image by LZ Creations
The last spread from a 6-page article written by Johan Martinsson about my book, The Excavation of Mushroom Island.
Special thanks to Mózsi Kiss for providing the following translation.
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Page 34 - When LEVEL gets a hold of Logan Zawacki, he says that he is now 28 years old and the manager of the photographic laboratory at the University of North Florida in Jacksonville, Florida.
28 years. That means that he would have been four years old in 1983, when he supposedly received his first science grant. Something is – as you have of course understood already – not right here.
It turns out that it is all made up. The scholarship, the subterranean tunnel, the forgotten island, the whole story.
Or not all of it. One of these things actually does exist. The book where all this was documented.
It is 76 beautiful pages filled with excavated skeletons from Mario’s world, tons of facts and topographical maps of the invented islands – complete with places such as the “Pipe Maze,” “Vanilla Dome,” and the “Castle of Koopa.”
“Imagine if Mario’s universe really had existed! That idea made me take on the assignment of interpreting the Mario mythology from a more realistic and scientific point of view,” says Zawacki. “Science has always used skeletons as physical proof of ancient cultures, so I decided to do the same.”
Zawacki started searching for pictures of real skeletal parts that could be used to illustrate the fossilized remains of the Mario characters.
“Every fossil consists of several different components that I have joined together. For example, I created Bowser’s skeleton by combining skeletal parts from a bear, an iguana, a turtle and a dolphin.”
After creating the images of the fossils, Zawacki fixed them to the paper through a printing technique that was considered out-dated already in 1860 – all in order to give the reader a feeling of flipping through an old book on anatomy.
The result feels so authentic, it is difficult not to be convinced that both goombas and chain chomps really existed, once upon a time. But the book also lets us know that they do not exist anymore – an insight which leaves the reader unexpectedly discouraged.
The Mushroom Kingdom is one of the places where time stands still. Peach, Luigi and Mario can never age and die – they can only play their roles over and over in a drama that is repeated in infinite, timeless cycles.
But the Excavation of Mushroom Island sees that world in the rear-view mirror. It has been destroyed. All its inhabitants are dead. Page 20 shows the skeleton of the Princess. Zawacki reports that an examination of the body revealed that she had a large tumor in her left breast. On page 49, we learn that a Homo Sapiens male dressed in a green cap with an L-shaped character had been trapped in a pipe and had starved to death. Page 55 reveals the discovery of a human head, which had been separated from the rest of the body by a falling block in the Donut Caverns. It is Mario.
The immortal are dead, and it feels wrong.
“The fact that all the inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom were dead became inevitable the exact moment I decided to present them as fossils from a long lost time. And I understood that I had to explain why the characters died to place them in a credible reality – where all people, plants and mythological things have one thing in common: death.”
Page 35 - It is unclear what Shigeru Miyamoto thinks of Logan Zawacki’s scientifically unsentimental way of killing all his iconic characters – but all things considered, it is difficult to think that the game genius would feel anything but honored by “The Excavation of Mushroom Island.”
Not because it confirms that he has always made historically correct games – but because it confirms that he has made something much more than this. He has created his own history. He has fantasized and turned his fantasies into physical reality.
Once upon a time, the idea of a plumber who jumped on small two-legged brown animals and collected coins to get extra lives, was just some funny thoughts in the head of a young Japanese game designer. Today, Mario is a reality for billions of people.
“The Excavation of Mushroom Island” is a tribute to the fantasy and its incredible power. It is difficult to imagine a better way to show Shigeru Miyamoto respect.
[The caption: To order Logan Zawacki’s book “The Excavation of Mushroom Island,” send an e-mail to LZcreations@hotmail.com]
